Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Are we still banned from the library?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
