He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
