Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
