The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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