So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
