possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
