Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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