Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
