gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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