but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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