"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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