just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
