just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
