babies were throwing up all over the place
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
