You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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