you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
