i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
