I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
