Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize