We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
