i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
