member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
