youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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