fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
