You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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