After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
