I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
