**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
