Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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