When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
