I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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