No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
