I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
