Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
