His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
