Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she smelled like a LAN party
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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