can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
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