Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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