I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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