I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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