Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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