i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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