Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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