well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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