Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
