Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
