They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
