im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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