yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i dont even know how to be here
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
