I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize