New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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