Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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