i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
