He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
