Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We have started to decorate penises.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we're so committed to being not committed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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