I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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