Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
