and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
