lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
