I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize