suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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