just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize