He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
