Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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