You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
