dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
