hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize