In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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