adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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