just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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